Quotes of Many Colors

Here are selections from a site of quotes from sub-English signs.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Another One Bites the Dust

Click to read:


I utterly agree. Shotgun entrances even manage to completely beat out grenade entrances, if you can believe that.

In other news, I have now discovered the Firefox Facebook toolbar add-on, which is completely convenient, as well as Firefox's NASA Night Launch theme, which finally works for Firefox 3.0. This makes me very happy.

In addition to these, Mozilla is apparently working in tandem with Adaptive Path (the designers of MySpace's revamp/relaunch) in order to develop Aurora, a very interesting web browsing application. You should go see the concept videos, episodes one and two (more are on their way).

Saving the Nation

OH THE IRONY.

The Original Goofy Laugh

Also, see this amazing commercial.

But seriously, THIS GUY is the best dancer, like, ever.

I love Alex Trebek.

Whereas THIS is the best music video I've ever seen in my life.

And I'll never look the same way at cell phones ever, ever again.

This is just incredibly impressive.

That Daniel Radcliffe Comic Guy

Pop Rocks


His name is Dartanion London. He whines because everyone says he looks like Harry Potter. His whining is funny, though.

More Headroom.

[ tips ][ cashfolds ][ conversion ][ normalcy ][ p.neruda ][ halam ]

Images and Poetry

Here are some funny pics that I had saved and then forgotten about. I like them a lot. Here, you can have some. Clicky, clicky!



And now, some haiku. Because I feel like it.

silvery light flows
over my pillow, drowning
me in darkest sleep.

the city awakes
in my mind. I travel down
many avenues.

shall we dance, upon
glassy wooden floors, to a
heated samba beat?

Sportscar

I really shouldn't find this funny. BUT I DO.

Wishful Thinking

You have not the slightest idea how terribly, horribly much I wish to own this car.


It's very much.

Sparta

Red Hot Riding Hood

This is only slightly ridiculous.

I suggest you turn down the volume; it's a cartoon, replete with the usual array of obnoxious sound effects.



Gotta love those old 'toons, though I have to say, I might like British comedy a right side better.



The above makes me giggle, but the below makes me positively cackle with glee.

Do the Hula

It's Because They're Real

I don't hate Bush at all. I just support his policies.

But seriously though, this is a really well-done clip that I can't help but giggle about.

Dude, This Is Creepy

No, not your face. I mean, that's creepy too, but this is what I'm talking about.

And, well, this is just stupid.

Indeed, I Think Randomosity Works Here

Was editing my profile and got this for a random question:

The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

So, of course, I write a short novel. Here you are.

Once upon a time there was a bald frog named Jacob. He spent all his time leaping about from shadow to shadow, frightened that the bright sunlight would bake his head to a crust, and worried about how to prevent it.
Finally he went to visit his aunt, whose name was Petunia. Petunia was very wise, for a frog, but not so much as compared to humans. Jacob asked her what he should do to cover up his head without having to jump from shadow to shadow. "Well," said Petunia, "'Tis my belief that a wig should look a right side better than a blackened skull." Jacob was amazed at her wisdom, and gave her three large glossy green flies from his pouch as a token of his appreciation before hopping away to find the wigmaker.
The wigmaker was a small ostrich who lived at the outskirts of town. As he was the only wigmaker in the area, he got a monopoly on the business and was quite successful. His name was Mr. Maltbrook. Jacob hopped over to see him, being very careful to keep in the shade.
"Mr. Maltbrook!" he croaked loudly. "Mr. Maltbrook!"
"Here I am," said a very flustered ostrich. "What can I do for you, fine sir?"
"Well, you can make me a wig!" said Jacob impatiently. "That's what I came all the way over for!"
"Oh, my," said Mr. Maltbrook. "There's a bit of a waiting list, I'm afraid. All the rabbit family wanted theirs done at once, you see. I'm quite tied up. Is there any way you might wait a couple of weeks?"
Jacob pondered for a while. "No," he finally croaked. "I'd like one now, if you please."
Mr. Maltbrook sighed a big long sigh - he only ever sighed long sighs with his long neck - and said that he supposed he could do something. Jacob was very happy and thanked Mr. Maltbrook ecstatically, then settled down to wait for his wig. After a while Mr. Maltbrook sent in a small fieldmouse to obtain Jacob's cranial measurements, but after that no one bothered Jacob in his patient wait.
It took Mr. Maltbrook six hours to make a satisfactory wig for Jacob. It was a lovely wig, all done up with white powdered curls and green ribbons to complement Jacob's skin tone. Jacob was very proud of it, and paid an almost unheard-of amount of twelve bluebottle flies for his new wig.
From that time after Jacob sat happily in the sunshine upon his lily pads, where he could easily reach the gnats that danced in the sunbeams. He grew very large and fat and wealthy, since he was free to roam about as he chose, and lived to a very old ripe age before handing his wig down to his children.

Of Secret Weapons

I've finally found out the real purpose of the paper shredder... it's been masquerading as innocent this whole time.

Reviewing Some Stuff, Because I Feel Like It

We're now watching the Chronicles of Narnia, even though I've seen it more than enough times for my lifetime. Also I've read the book too many times to think of the movie as a completely different adventure from the book, so as a result I can't see the movie without comparing the two versions. And while the movie is good, I think the books preserve a certain character of childlike adventure that I grew up loving and still adore (which is likely why I love books like Tom Sawyer and Peter Pan). The movie does not do this at all. It tries to make the story of Light and Hope Combating Monsters more dark than it should be. The movie lessens the sense of innocence and childlike faith that's in the books to almost nil. Maybe I'm just prejudiced. I love the soundtrack, though. CoN gets 4 of 5 stars, mostly for great special effects and for Georgie Henley.

I just saw The Illusionist recently. I have to admit it is exactly my type of movie: one isn't certain what is real and what is pretend until the end, and there's enough fantasy and somehow-noble-duplicity mixed in to give the whole movie a fascinating undertone. I have yet to read the short story that it was loosely based off of, but I'll see if I can't find it (or an anthology containing it). For the moment, this movie has become one of my favorites. 4 1/2 of 5 stars.

My sister wants to see Flushed Away again. I think it's a funny movie, but there's a bit too much American comedy in what should be a British comedy. Perhaps not entirely, but my penchant for British comedy (Monty Python and Spike Milligan are weak spots for me) completely sways me. Plus the story happens in England, anyways. Very nice animation, though, and some of the lines and jokes off of other movies are worth a few good chuckles. 3 1/2 of 5 stars.

For the Purpose of Displaying the Inanity of My Convos

They're pretty inane. Here is a slightly edited version of one such.
Here you may also see that I use big words even in the context of casual IM conversations.

Freedom: I don't know if you've heard... a common side effect of sunburns are rampant silliness at awkward and otherwise inconvenient moments...
Beware the powers of the sunburns
That's my excuse and I plan on using it a lot

i.am.a.fox: I must have a perpetual, invisible sunburn

Freedom: I think you have mental sunburn

i.am.a.fox: I believe it

Freedom: It's a usual trait in computer users... they step outside and their brain isn't used to such brightness outside of an LCD, so it fries

i.am.a.fox: thus creating social awkwardness

Freedom: Exactly

i.am.a.fox: or in my case, mild popularity XD

Freedom: XD
Exactly right
Likewise for myself
^_^

i.am.a.fox: "That Fox, he is so crazy."
"That Freedom, she is such a cat."

Freedom: "Must have that mental sunburn..." "Oh, aye, heard that's been going around."
Of course it's totally not contagious, but every affliction must be catching in casual conversation, so that it can be spoken of
Otherwise people would forget which illnesses are catching and which aren't, creating seriously damaged verbal interplay

i.am.a.fox: I like that word
Interplay

Freedom: "Doesn't Jane have breast cancer now?" "Oh yes, I heard George accidentally gave it to her."

i.am.a.fox: XD