Excerpts from the Internets

Have you seen those new Taco Bell commercials? They go kind of like: "Hey Jim, how was lunch at Taco Bell?" "Hmm, well if I were to eat another bite, it would be positively grotesque!" Jim is but the first of a series of people leaping up from sofas, standing on car hoods, etc., all shouting "I'm FULL!" or some synonymous expression. Obviously, somewhere in the domain of Taco Bell, the people's anguished cries have reached the ear of the king.

The messenger kneels: "My liege, your people complain bitterly of an emptiness within. They also want to shop without getting out of their cars."

The king strokes his beard with his glove. "They shall eat tacos, and they shall know peace."

- David Hellman, A Lesson Is Learned

Falling Into Autumn

I had forgotten how beautiful the rain was.

I hadn't remembered the magic of water, pelting down from the sky, sprinkling your hair and reminding your skin that it's alive.

I had forgotten, as so many have, the wonder of accepting the fact you're going to get wet, of the release of knowing your clothes will be damp, but they'll dry out, and in the meantime you can enjoy the drops that smell so sweetly of life.

It is such fun looking up into the sky, feeling the rain on your face... such fun in the simple pleasure of knowing there is something here to enjoy, of holding your head high and walking through the downpour, when so many people scurry past, heads down, ducking from cover to cover or hiding beneath giant umbrellas, never meeting your eye, trying to escape.

There is something to learn from this, I think.

Take your time, in life, in love. If you forget your rain jacket or umbrella, accept it for the opportunity it is - the opportunity to experience something that so many people never do. Greet every moment as the chance to look around, to find something to look at, something to become interested in, rather than treating life as something that must continually amuse you.

"The cure for boredom is curiosity; and there is no cure for curiosity." (- Ellen Parr)

Live each day seeking, rather than waiting, for the things that interest you, that excite you, that bring you joy. Life is too short to wait for living to happen.

Admittedly Not Good

This has practically been my mantra lately. Hint: Not a good thing.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
-- Robert Benchley

Shake the Dust

I haven't written for a while, and still can't.

Have this instead.


Quote from a friend:
"you know, theres a time for words and then, then theres a time for sitting back and asking yourself... wtf". - Tracy

Shockingly apt statement, I'd say.

They're Going Down

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- Jack Handey

Imbecility

"Nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying someone rich." - Mr. Fairchild, Sabrina

"Death and Life"

– Charles Carroll Bombaugh, Gleanings for the Curious from the Harvest-Fields of Literature, 1890

Tricky Questions

A quote my dad sent me:

German General to Swiss General: "You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?"

Swiss General: "Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice."

Quotes of Many Colors

Here are selections from a site of quotes from sub-English signs.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Prophecy

Whilst sun and moon endure, America shall remain a city of refuge for the whole earth, until she herself shall play the tyrant, forget her destiny, disgrace her freedom, and provoke her God.

- George Duffield II (1732-1790)

The Skillfully Employed

My new favorite quote, which I found while reading The Art of War:

The skillful employer of men will employ the wise man, the brave man, the covetous man, and the stupid man. For the wise man delights in establishing his merit, the brave man likes to show his courage in action, the covetous man is quick at seizing advantages, and the stupid man has no fear of death. - Qtd. by Tu Mu

One Billion: Perspective

Found the following in a bulletin posted on MySpace. I really like it. You should read it.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number... what does it mean?

A. Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528.

B. Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets 1,329,787.

C. Or... if you are a family of four...your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D.

C, HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medica re Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago... and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?
Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to press '1' for English.

I hope this goes around the USA at least 100 times.

What the heck happened?

Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Going to School

It stopped snowing around noon. It has rained a bit since.

Dammit.

In other news, Howard Schnellenberger explains the difference between involvement and commitment: "When you're eating ham and eggs, the chicken that laid the eggs was involved, but the pig that provided the ham was totally committed."

You remember Bullseye's theme song from Daredevil? Been looking for it for awhile. Found it.


Or if you're looking for something a bit more peaceful:

Le Fleurs

Spring has sprung... Along with the Princess Bride.

"The SOD has spoken!!" ;P

New Toys

We switched our cell phones from Verizon to Cingular. So I went from my Samsung SCH-A950 to a Samsung SGH-A707, which is "much more better" (in the words of our favorite captain).
Also, while I was there, I bought this wireless headset, which I find practically indispensable. It is absolutely beautiful, and the fact that it's Bluetooth means it was made for Freedom. ;)

I Believe I Need Some Alone Time

"Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available." - Gregory Benford

While not applying to romance, this describes my Humanities class utterly and completely.

*sigh* Can I just leave the world and go off with God for a couple of years? I'm a bit fed up with the rest of humanity at the moment. Researching abortion for a grand school report does not improve my sentiments on my fellow man, either. I could do a half-decent job by my opinions and likely still get an A from public school teachers.

I'm so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausted. I want to curl up and rest in the arms of my God.

*sigh*