The Actions of Children

Mon dieu, I am friends with absolute children! And ones who are trying to make lasting, adult-level decisions about the rest of their future... based on what? Physical attraction? Everyone else can see they're idiots for even hanging out together.

He's the most like a child... absolutely ridiculous in his actions, using his huge, gawky adult body to accomplish the will of a twelve-year-old (wrestle with me over a magazine? What kind of kid are you? What happened to the gentleman she said she was looking for?). She's practically babysitting him whenever she's with him. (And that will benefit a lasting relationship... how?) I fervently hope they don't have kids. It would be better if they never married in the first place, but I don't want any mother to have to deal with her children on top of a child-mannered father. I shudder at the thought of that scene.

She says she texts the most random inane sentences to him, and loves that he just texts back "Okay". A hint, sweetheart: it's not because he understands, accepts, and moves on. It's because he doesn't know what else to say. It's acknowledging you've spoken, that's all.

I love her to death, and I hate seeing where this relationship is taking her. All she's getting out of it right now is emotional gratification. I really hope the military with mature him, because I can't think of anything else that might. He's like a barely house-trained pet that has finally become big enough to realize the leash can't hold him. He doesn't appear to have solid rules for behaviour at all, let alone any social clue as to how a man should behave.

And this whole "I'm seeing a guy because he's seeing a girl I don't like"? What the hell? Oh yeah, that's completely solidifying your adult relationship. Come on, I thought you at least were more mature than that, girl. But even if you're not, this is CERTAINLY not convincing me of your adult status in the world.

Both of you... grow up. Dios mío.

Desesperación

Will there never be a time or place when age does not define your abilities?

God damn it. It's only a year. One year. Less, as of now... a mere couple of months. Damn it. I feel so... impotent. Inarticulate. Incapable. Irrevocably ejected from the adult world, the capable, responsible echelons of humanity. I am... exiled.

More importantly, why did it take an entire year of classes for this to sink in?

I am tired of it. So tired. And despair rips at my gut... worse than hunger or sadness, worse than those vague twinges of guilt or pain... it is loneliness that eats away at my insides. Humanity has deserted me, the sub-human, the less-than-adult me. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot redefine their lawyer's terms. I am child. That is all.

Today's Composition

So I had poetry class today. I like what I wrote, but I didn't fulfill the assignment (to stay away from abstract concepts and depict only representational visuals), so oh well.

Concepts: Order, War, Solitude, Peace, Hunger

A lily resting on a glassy lake
Is nothing to the placid contentment within.
Alone, I am crowded by my country -
Its turmoil palpable, its quest for justice
Irresistible; hungry as an avalanche
And twice as destructive.
But here in my solitary self, I rest
My soul ordered within me
And I am at peace.

On a completely different note, while I was walking to my Art History class, I passed a bush, and heard these strange high-pitched chirping noises. I looked through the bush and saw this tiny little hummingbird, perched on a tiny little branch, expanding its teensy tiny little red throat and squeak-chirping like I wasn't two feet away and looking right at it. It was fantastic!

Loneliness

I went with my dad to his office so that he could take the carpool lane. While waiting for him to return from his meeting, I finished my book... and so, thinking of my poetry class, wrote the following two poems.

Visit To an Office

An unknown street,
A mystery house,
An alien town.
Wandering through doorways
Down hallways, alleys,
Wandering without purpose
Without meaning
In an unknown land.
Strange pale colours,
Bizarre carpeted floor;
Strangers populate its roads.
These inhabitants do not smile.
Escape is a meaningless word,
And discourse an empty option.
These aliens do not notice the alien
Wandering in their midst,
Do not stop to ask questions -
They stare, and then move about their tasks;
And I, the alien among them,
Don't know what to do with myself.

I hope I don't get lost.

And poem the second:

The Stranded Poet

Single, solitary light -
The others flicker,
But you, faithfully, stay
Lit
A beacon to those
Wandering these halls
And to I, who sits
Pen in hand
Scribbling these thoughts.
You are the one
Who allows me to write
For you are
Both
My inspiration
And my vision;
My enabler
And my guide.
I am lost without you.

Collegiate

Here's a poem I wrote during my poetry class while the teacher rambled on about inconsequential things. I was looking around the room and wondering if I could compose an entire poem about a random object:

Projector

Fine, sleek silver box
Instrument under teacher's hand
Presenting words and images
Meant for guidance

Whirring instructional box
Your eye doesn't absorb, but reflects
For the benefit of all
Who could not learn from you?

Suspended electric box
A source of light and knowledge
Quiet and unassuming -
The projector.

But this poem is my favorite so far. Based on the writing assignment of, "Imagine someone, standing in a doorway, somewhere", I wrote it in its entirety in less than ten minutes, and was the first to finish. Still needs a title, though.

To step through the door
And freeze upon the threshold -
Frozen by the sight before your eyes.
What rare beauty, what fine garment,
What musical speech hath this girl!
Her soft laughter perfumes the air with sound,
And breaks your heart as it does your stride.
Beautiful girl! Grey, ocean-filled eyes,
Watery cascade of sand-golden hair;
She is fluid in motion as the seagull's flight,
Graceful as the lines of the wind-curved dunes.
There is no breath that does not taste
Of her sweet tang whilst she is near,
And when she is absent the mouth is flooded
With the bitter salt of sadness.
Wonderful girl! Whose talents and grace
Break like caressing waves
Upon those fortunate enough
To drown themselves... in you.

"Shapeskearean Venting"

God, you ever get to that point where you're so tired of stupid movies, and then you see a Shakespeare, and it's like water after a desert?

That's how I felt after I watched Much Ado About Nothing. It was so refreshing to see a cohesive, coherent, plausible movie, with completely solid characters, played by actors who completely understood their roles and the spirit of Shakespeare. It was just... nice.

Flash Fiction-ating

As I don't really like posting entire compositions here, I'll try something new and just give you the first few lines:

I ran down the corridor, breathing heavily. I had lost her. My chest heaved, and a sob cracked its way through my chest and up my throat. I thought furiously through the desperation that threatened to consume me. There was no way to regain her. She was too far away, they would know exactly where I went, and I would lose her again, whatever I did. They knew me too well.

... and then give you the link to the rest: My Life - Gone, With One Click.

Wrote it in a flash of inspiration based on a six-word story I wrote, now serving as the title, on projectsidewalk.com. You should go look at that, too.

Repentence

If you say you're a Christian, this slams you to the wall, lifts you up by the throat, and strikes you through the heart with a stake to keep you up there. Click for bigger view.

Great Moments

A list I composed back in June, but didn't share. I'm not sure why. But here, you can have it now.

Feeling the heat of the sun on your body
The earthy smell of ripe blackberries in summer
Having a really good picture on your driver's license
The feeling you get right after finishing a really good book
The closed-in feeling of driving down a country road in the dark
Getting enhanced nightvision right after it snows
Sliding down banisters
The word "snazzy"
Tipping a chair backwards and getting that perfect balance
Walking along a trail in the woods and realizing you're the only one there
Having whatever's in your head come out perfectly on paper
Listening to a great surround sound system
Painting your bedroom the perfect color
An entire stack of the books that you love
Figuring out all the shortcuts on your cell phone
Customizing all the shortcuts on your cell phone
The clean, abrupt smell of permanent marker
Movies that leave you breathless
People you can watch those movies with
Dangly earrings
Summer days, in February
A perfectly sharpened pencil
Old TV shows nobody remembers
Knowing your cat's body language
Watching a movie on YouTube over and over
Old radio broadcasts from the '40s and '50s
Having all your laundry clean at the same time
An equalizer preset that does exactly what you were looking for
Playing hide-and-go-seek with small children
The sight of a herd of deer in a meadow
Estate sales with huge collections of baubles
The little wiggling thing cats do before they pounce
A candle lit for the first time
Getting personal letters
Glass bottles of ink
Small silver charms
Real, old hardwood floors
Floating on a lake in the bottom of a boat
Ancient vine-covered concrete that reminds you of ruins
Having a dragonfly land on your arm
The smell of water lilies
A completed sudoku board
Old chandeliers
Getting a perfect cadence to your words
Doing something childish and not caring who disapproves
The feeling you get after completing a really long essay
The moment when you've got the inspiration, right before you create something amazing

Give it a thought. When was the last time you noticed, and enjoyed, those kinds of (almost entirely superfluous) moments in your life? No one else will enjoy them for you.

Footnote: This is my 200th post to this blog.

Arabic Poetry

Love Compared

I do not resemble your other lovers, my lady

Should another give you a cloud

I give you rain

Should he give you a lantern, I

will give you the moon

Should he give you a branch

I will give you the trees

And if another gives you a ship

I shall give you the journey.

- Nizar Qabbani

Quotes of Many Colors

Here are selections from a site of quotes from sub-English signs.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

The Final Cellodown

Sort of reminds me of Apocalyptica, whom I love.

It's the Final Cellodown!

Prophecy

Whilst sun and moon endure, America shall remain a city of refuge for the whole earth, until she herself shall play the tyrant, forget her destiny, disgrace her freedom, and provoke her God.

- George Duffield II (1732-1790)

It's Like A Disease

Oh. My. God.

I don't think there's anything cuter on the face of the planet. Makes me want to be a park ranger, quite honestly.

Chip Pics

Sample:

Cravings

Fascinating site. I think I may continue to use this as a reference.

Reduce Your Food Cravings

XKCD

This stuff always manages to make me laugh. I'm a nerd like that.

http://xkcd.com/

Research and Development

Basically I really want one of these amazing action figures. And normally I'm not one for toys, but this one takes the cake for best action figure. It's really a work of art. It's just freaking amazing.


See?

In other news, you can apparently make a fairly adequate solar power generator for less than $300. Something to think about.